Powered By Blogger

Saturday, 26 May 2012

Medical Dictionary

Medical Terminology Explained:

Cardiology: Advanced study of poker playing
Artery: Study of paintings.
Anally - Occurring yearly
Antepartum - When your father's sister goes home
Anti-Body - Against everyone
Atonic - Goes with your gin

Bacteria: Back door of cafeteria.
Bandages - The Rolling Stones.
Barium:  What doctors do when treatment fails.
Benign:  What you are after you are eight.  
Bowel:  Letter like A.E.I.O.U.

Caesarean section: District in Rome.
Carpal: Someone with whom you drive to work.
Cat scan: Searching for kitty.
Cauterise: Made eye contact with her.
Chiropractor:  An Egyptian doctor.
Codeine: Number you use at ATM.
Colic: Sheep dog.
Coma:  A punctuation mark.
Congenital: Friendly.
Cardiology: Advanced study of poker playing.
Castrate: Market price for setting a fracture.
Coronary: Domesticated yellow bird.
Cortisone: The local courthouse.
Cystogram: A cable sent to your sister.

Diarrhoea: Journal of daily events.
Dilate: To live long.

Ear: Where you are now.
Elixir: What a dog gives to his owner when she gives him a bone.
Enema: Not a friend.

Fester: Quicker.
Fibrillate: To tell a small lie.
Fibula: A small lie.

Gallstones: What the Gauls threw at the Romans.

Hangnail: Coat-hook.
Humerus: Funny, tell us what we want to hear.

Impotent:  Distinguished, well-known.
Inbred: The best way to eat peanut butter.
Inguinal:  A new type of Italian noodle.
Intense pain: Torture in a tepee.

Jaundice: Biassed.

Kidney: Part of a child’s leg.

Labour pain: Conservative victory.

Medical staff: A doctor’s cane.
Migraine: What a Russian farmer now says about his harvest.
Minor operation: Coal mining.
Morbid: A higher offer.

Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.
Node: Was aware of.

Organic: Church musician.
Outpatient: A person who has fainted.

Paralyse: Two far-fetched stories.
Pathological: A reasonable way to go.
Pelvis: Cousin of Elvis.
Penis: Someone who plays the piano.
Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture.
Post­operative: A letter carrier.
Protein: In favour of young people.

QuackeryPoliticians core training module.

Recovery room: A place to do upholstery.
Rectum: Dang near killed ‘em.
Rheumatic: Amorous.

Sacrum: Holy.
Saline: Where you go on your boyfriend's boat
Scab: Blackleg in Union strike.
Scar: Rolled tobacco leaf.
Secretion: Hiding anything.
Seizure: Roman emperor.
Serology: A study of English knighthood.
Serum: What you do when you barbecue steaks.
Sterile solution: Not using the elevator during a fire.
Surgery: A reason to get an uninterruptible power supply.
Sperm: To reject.

Tablet: Small table.
Terminal illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Tibia: Country in North Africa.
Tumour: An extra pair.

Urine: Opposite of you’re out.

Varicose: Nearby.
Vein: Conceited.
Vitamin: What you do when friends stop by for a visit.

Wart: Mr Disney.

X-Ray: Man who changed his name.

Yersinia: Have you seen her?

Zinc: Where you wash the pots.

No comments:

Post a Comment